Dear cowboys of Montana,

Wow, you guys are cool. The first cowboy I ever saw was Woody from Toy Story, and I've been a fan of you all ever since. While Woody's heroic in his own way, the truth of what cowboys are is much more impressive. I can hardly believe "bison boarding" is even a thing.

Cowboys are the gold standard for toughness and discipline. They get up early, they work hard, and they don't stop until the job is done. They don't need anything fancy, although a "cowboy coffee" may sound delicious, in reality the average person might prefer a frappuccino.

The first time I ever met a cowboy was at a bar called The Sunrise Saloon in Missoula, it was karaoke night but he and his cowboy friends weren't getting up there to sing Wonder Wall, actually they didn't sing at all. I did see them on the dance floor with their ladies, so now no one can tell me they're too macho to dance.

Anyway, I saw a cowboy, and I will clarify that this was definitely a real cowboy and not some poser in a big hat, and deliberately sat next to him. I have a mohawk and I could tell the man had had some reservations about me, but he humored my questions anyway. I'm a huge UFC fan so I asked if he watched that at all, he did a little. Then I asked if he ever gets in fights— his answer, I'll never forget:

Nah, I wrestle steers.

What. A. Badass. Cowboys, you're an inspiration to me. Next time I see you at the saloon, whiskey's on me.


Christian Grant

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