RESPONSE: Actually Missoula is Way Better Than Bozeman

So I'm minding my own business surfing the web (as the kids say) and all the sudden I encounter an a take so dumb, so disconnected from reality that I spat out my Capri Sun all over my keyboard. It was a disaster, I'm writing this from a brand new laptop— I'll never financially recover from this. The take responsible? That Bozeman is better than Missoula, and the author even has 5 "unbiased" reasons why.

Sure, all his stats seem accurate, but data points aren't what makes a city great. I've had fun times in Bozeman so I'm not a total hater, but it doesn't even compare to Zootown. Here's why Missoula's better than Bozeman:

Weirdness

You've never seen a "keep Bozeman weird" bumper sticker because of that city's basic, conformist nature. Have you seen the movie They Live? I actually haven't but I imagine the characters act like Bozemanites.

Less bougie

Missoula's getting bougie-er, AKA fancier and more expensive, but it still has a long way to go before reaching Bozeman's level of bougie, which is absolutely off the charts.

More Montanan

Missoula isn't exactly the epitome of Montana culture either, but Böz Angeles makes Zootown look like Butte.

Concerts

I don't think I've ever seen a band I've wanted to see's tour dates have a show in Bozeman but not Missoula, yet many times Missoula gets superstar artists that never play in Bozeman. Sorry, maybe Sir Paul will visit you all next time.

Beer

Missoula has the Bayern, Big Sky, Conflux, KettleHouse and so many more that I think make the best beer in the world. I do particularly like Bozeman's MAP Brewing, for example, so it's really nothing against them. It's just that Missoula is the best of the best, completely exceptional. Here's a guide to Missoula breweries.